Can’t Reach Your Goals? Overcome Discouragement & Setbacks Using These Powerful Tools
Feeling discouraged and stuck is something everyone experiences at some point. Whether it’s in your health, career, or personal life, hitting a wall can make you question your abilities and goals. But I bring good news – discouragement is not the end of the road; it’s a signal to reassess, refocus, and try, try again! I’ve personally struggled with discouragement with my health and career, but am finally experiencing some ah-ha moments in my journey that I wanted to share, in hopes that it could be helpful to you! I’m excited to explore how to navigate discouragement and setbacks through the lens of powerful psychological tools like Motivational Interviewing, the Transtheoretical Model of change, and adopting a true growth mindset – tools I wish I would’ve learned a long time ago!
Understanding Where You Are in the Change Process
Motivational interviewing (MI) is a counseling approach that helps people find the motivation to make positive decisions. One of the key elements of MI is recognizing where you are in the change/transformation process. This process can be broken down into five stages:
- Precontemplation: You might not yet see the need for change or are unaware of the problem.
- Contemplation: You recognize the need for change and start to think about making it.
- Preparation: You begin planning and preparing to take action.
- Action: You actively work towards making changes.
- Maintenance: You sustain the changes and work to prevent relapse.
When you feel discouraged, it’s helpful to identify which stage you’re in, so then you can focus on ways to move through the change process. Are you still contemplating a change? Or are you in the action stage but struggling with setbacks? Understanding where you’re at can help you map out a plan to breakthrough to the next stage!
Moving Out of Ambivalence: Questions to Ask Yourself
Ambivalence is the state of having mixed feelings or conflicting ideas about something, and keeps you stuck, unable to move forward. For example, I know there are benefits to eating healthier, but I really enjoy certain junk foods and I don’t want to give them up. Rather than choosing to take small steps like adding in healthier foods, it’s sometimes easier to just maintain the status quo, and ultimately stay stuck in the current state.
Asking yourself specific questions can help you move out of ambivalence and moving towards your goals.
- What are the reasons I want to make this change?
- Reflect on your core motivations and the benefits you hope to achieve.
- What’s holding me back?
- Identify the barriers, whether they are internal fears or external obstacles.
- What small step can I take today to move forward?
- Focus on immediate, manageable actions rather than the entire journey.
- How have I overcome similar challenges in the past?
- Draw strength from past experiences where you’ve succeeded despite difficulties.
- Who can support me in this process?
- Consider friends, mentors, or professionals who can provide encouragement and guidance.
These questions help clarify your thoughts and can reignite your commitment to your goals – remember the “why” behind your desired outcome!
Speed Up The Process With A Professional Health & Wellness Coach
Studies have shown that working with a professional health & wellness coach who is trained in evidenced-based tools to guide you to dig a little deeper on what is keeping you stuck can speed up the change process and has shown to help people find more success! I’d love to connect with you and share with you why I’m passionate about helping people get unstuck and start reaching their goals! Learn more here!
Adopting a Growth Mindset Over a Fixed Mindset
A growth mindset, a concept popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. This mindset is crucial for overcoming discouragement because it frames setbacks not as failures but as opportunities for growth.
- Growth Mindset:
- Embraces Challenges: Sees challenges as opportunities to learn and grow.
- Learns from Criticism: Values constructive feedback and uses it for improvement.
- Perseveres in the Face of Setbacks: Understands that setbacks are part of the process and don’t define the overall journey.
- Celebrates Effort: Recognizes and values the hard work put in, regardless of immediate outcomes.
- Fixed Mindset:
- Avoids Challenges: Sees challenges as threats and avoids them to prevent failure.
- Ignores Criticism: Takes constructive feedback personally and often feels defensive.
- Gives Up Easily: Views setbacks as failures and a reflection of their innate abilities.
- Focuses on Outcomes: Values success only in terms of results, not effort or learning.
Adopting a growth mindset involves shifting your perspective from fixed to flexible, viewing abilities as qualities that can be developed. This shift is key to overcoming discouragement and moving forward.
My Personal Journey Insights – From Disempowered to Empowered!
I always thought I was adopting a growth mindset, but I began to realize that when I would not stick with something I would sort of give up for a period of time and stay stuck feeling discouraged, so I don’t think I was actually adopting a growth mindset.
Old Jeanna Thought Process – “I forgot to workout all week again, I guess that’s just who I am. It’s too hard to change my habits and I’m not sure if this will ever happen for me.” – So discouraged and disempowered!
New Jeanna Thought Process – “I didn’t prioritize working out this week because I was busy. Working out is important to me, so this week I will plan better. Even if I workout for just 5 minutes, that is progress. I will try for more, but will celebrate any and all wins because they get me closer to my goal. I know over time I am rewiring my brain and habits, and that takes time! It is worth it to me, I will keep trying!” – Positive outlook, compassion, and empowered!
The Power of Small Steps
When feeling discouraged, the prospect of achieving your goals can seem overwhelming. This is where the power of small steps comes into play. Small, consistent actions build momentum and lead to significant progress over time. Also, a coach once told me that through small steps you are building trust with yourself that you can do hard things!
Why small steps matter:
- Manageable: They are easier to accomplish, reducing the feeling of overwhelm.
- Motivating: Each small success boosts your confidence and motivation to continue.
- Sustainable: Small changes are more likely to stick, leading to long-term transformation.
Examples of small steps:
- If you’re trying to get fit, start with a 10-minute daily walk.
- If you’re learning a new skill, dedicate 15 minutes a day to practice.
- If you’re writing a book, aim to write a paragraph a day.
These small steps compound over time, leading to significant progress and helping you move past discouragement. Also, often the hardest part of creating a new habit is starting! You may find that when you start, you may feel inspired to keep going!
Lasting Thoughts for Encouragement – Keep Moving Forward!
Feeling discouraged and not making progress can be disheartening, but it’s also a natural part of any transformative journey. By understanding where you are in the process, asking the right questions to move out of ambivalence, adopting a growth mindset, and focusing on small steps, you can overcome these feelings and continue moving forward.
Remember, every great accomplishment is the result of countless small efforts. Keep taking those steps, however small, and you’ll find that progress is inevitable. Embrace the journey, learn from the setbacks, and celebrate your growth along the way.
Thanks for reading!
In Wellness,
Jeanna
